Do you find yourself thinking about why someone isn’t adjusting to your way? I often do. Let’s take driving as an example. My husband and friends out there can attest to me justifying why my style of driving seems like the best way- play it safe, don’t pull out in front of people and stay in the same lane the entire trip. So when I get in the passenger seat with my husband for instance I can get frustrated and sometimes ask him why he won’t stay in the same lane. I’m trying to justify my feelings instead of taking the time to adjust to his way.
Life is give and take.
I heard something recently that really stuck with me. The platinum rule. We’ve all heard of the golden rule- treat others like you want to be treated. A lot of us were raised on the golden rule and have done an awesome job at that. But stop and think- are we all created the exact same, with the exact same wants in life? No. (And thank goodness- That would be boring!)
The platinum rule is to treat others like they would want to be treated. It takes intention to stop our own thoughts and adjust to someone else’s way of doing things. Adjusting to those around us doesn’t have to change who we are but it changes how we react to those around us. I truly believe that this principle will help me grow as a wife, mother and Believer.
As I was writing this I started to think of palm trees and thought of this simple statement- Bend like a palm tree.
Have you ever watched a palm tree sway in the wind?
How about in a hurricane?
Have you ever seen a palm tree break?
It’s rare. Palm trees are rooted deeply into the earth. They have a trunk that allows them to sway with the wind but not break. We can take so much from a palm tree but I want to focus on how a palm tree naturally adjusts to the situation around it without breaking. We can apply this principle in our daily lives whether we are on our morning commute to work or in a battle with our two- year old who doesn’t want to brush their teeth. Next time you find yourself in a challenging situation where you are trying to get someone to see your point of view, consider gently swaying like a palm tree and adjusting to their point of view.
Busy. It’s something I do to myself vs. something I am. Anyone else feel that way? I can have nothing to do, yet I take steps to make myself busy by cleaning something that doesn’t need cleaning or creating new tasks. The reality is I don’t like to sit down and relax.
Guess what I have to repeat to myself often? “Every opportunity that comes our way doesn’t mean it is something we have to jump on.” By saying no to some things, we are able to make room for more important things.
You may be at the end of your day, completely exhausted, wishing for more “margin.” The truth is we all have some margin in our lives, it’s just how we are using this that will leave our glass half full or half empty.
One of our family focuses this year is how we use our time together. As a family we are seeking margin in our lives. Often we think of margin as a financial term but we think of it as prioritizing to create time in our busy lives. We have found that it’s really not something you seek- it’s something you do. If you take a moment to look at your day, I’m sure you will find that you have time for the things that matter most to you- it just all depends on how it’s spent.
More than 7 years ago, Ryan and I embarked on an important journey our lives. On the very first day of our orientation for class at our new job, I sat in a cold break room at a very full table of women. A cute guy with curly brown hair, and beautiful green eyes pursued me that night with the famous tag line “Don’t I know you?” I don’t remember my exact response. The truth is, I didn’t know him but in my heart, but I felt like I had known him my whole life in that moment. There was no exchange of information and we weren’t even in the same class so the story ends there, right?
Nope. This cute guy with curly brown hair pursued me. He found me online and from there he tried to get me to go on a date. I was completely against dating at the time, telling him “This is not rejection but, I’m not interested in dating…” At this point, he could have given up on me but he didn’t. My madly in love hubby kept pursuing me and it didn’t take long for me to give in. Most of our “dates” were working side by side passing the occasional post-it note or going to IHOP after getting off work at 2am.
I feel incredibly blessed to celebrate 6 years of marriage this week and I love reflecting on the start of our joyful life together as a family. Each day our love grows stronger and the roots of our family grow deeper.